When your recovering from a break up or anything in your life that has devastated you or changed you it's important to know what triggers you. You can make it days, or months and be fine and then all of a sudden it hits you. That hurt those memories the reason why you are in this mess in the first place it knocks the wind out of you. What are your triggers? Movies, old texts, their family, your family, birthdays, friends, holidays, or broken promises? For me every single one of these things took me backwards until I finally cut it all off. I cut myself off from everything but God. I was in a place that I needed answers I found comfort in talking to the family of my ex after all to me they were my family. I couldn't understand why it had happened why we weren't worth it anymore and why we were each other's future one day and the next it was nothing. But that's how my hurt turned into my downfall I lived my hurt all day I questioned every move I made in my relationship it played in my head over and over and no matter how many times I tried to press stop it wouldn't it was like my stop button was broken and my self destruct mode was in full force. I can honestly say I regret talking to them and not because they weren't sympathetic and really helpful but just because I never should have involved them at all but they knew I was hurt I was crushed. I needed them and they understood that. In that moment I only needed God. I had to understand that being able to talk with them about my break up was only hurting me worse I had to realize that I could never fully let go until I let it all go. So I did I cut all ties because I had to not because I wanted to. I wanted to heal. I feared them being hurt or mad at me but I had to trust that when the time was right I would be able to associate with them and not mourn the fact that I was no longer in that family. I couldn't watch reality tv or shows we use to watch or go places we use to it all made me sick. I hated running into people who asked where my ex was. All triggers they drove me crazy. I disappeared from everything and everyone. I was sick health wise and heart wise I had to get a grip on it. I told God I didn't want that feeling anymore I was better than this better than mourning. I had to realize that in order to be healed the right way. I had to go through my season of hurt and what I feared most was how long the season would last. I gave to much of me to a situation only God could change the way he wanted it. I had to ask God to take it from me because I was too weak to give him everything I was dealing with. It helped me when I could say that I didn't want that feeling of hurt anymore I just wanted happiness to feel happy. I had to realize that the new person I was becoming enjoyed life differently viewed it differently I'm no longer who I use to be. I know now that those who couldn't understand my disappearance didn't understand that it was what I needed. What ever brings on your hurt or self destruction ask God to help you place it in his hands. Understand that what triggers you now won't always trigger you. Understand that strength and healing comes on Gods time not yours. Gods love is the best love.
The lords unfailing love surrounds the man that trusts him (Psalms 32:10)
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