Sometimes you stumble?

Good Morning,
              My heart has been very heavy  for about a week now. I was placed in a situation in which I feel like I stumbled backwards. I would like to talk to you about the trials and tribulations of moving forward after having your heart broken. I want you to forgive your self for still caring. I want you to forgive yourself for being upset, crying, feeling numb, or screaming. What ever it is its okay I don't want you to beat yourself up over someone who is not beating their self up over you. Yes, I know you can read them and yes I'm sure they did something to get a rise out of you and now everyone on the outside looking in only sees it as something you should be over. They say stop giving them power over you. Am I correct? The only thing you can hear your self say is: How could I have loved someone this much and they just don't care. I kicked my self so hard for allowing myself to get upset after all the progress I had made. The nightmares were gone, tears, that aching portion of my  heart was gone and I allowed one thing to just break me down. It took me a full week to process it and understand that my break down was not like it was in the beginning. I felt disrespected this time. I know what was done and yet I was being made to just feel like I was making it up. I cant tell you what people will or wont do when they love you, but I realize they have no right to. It hurts like all hell I know it does. Your life isn't the same. Release what happened and you tell your self "Today is the first day of the rest of my life". If they can still see you hurting and do nothing about it or talk to you like its nothing then you don't want them in your life.  It doesn't matter what you know it matters what they show. You can only leave them to God.  When I woke up out of my sleep this past weekend like I couldn't breathe like I use to when we first broke up I immediately told the devil to leave me alone. I ran to my prayer corner and asked God to forgive me because I was mad  we were in the same place again, I questioned God because he is so powerful and yet he allowed this encounter after everything I had been through. I begged God to remove my ex from my mind, hearts, thoughts, and all associations. I refuse to allow my life to be affected again over someone who hurt me so deeply.  Who lied to me not only about our future, but our friendship as well. The truth is I am not where I want to be but Ill never go back to who I was. I'm guilty for staying when I knew things were changing. I realized that I am not perfect and yes things could have been done differently, but I didn't deserve to be done that way. I did what I was supposed to do I did what I expected to receive back and that was love with all of me.  I don't regret having a big heart because that's who I am. I just wish I would have walked away sooner. This is truly a process, so please just don't give up on your self. Love is not easy but you can't do anything to change someone and you shouldn't want to either.